Investigations of those who "Care"

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It’s indescribable really.  That feeling when your baby is placed in your arms after carrying it around inside of you all safe and well protected for nine months.  That feeling of looking down into its eyes and watching them open and shut with curiosity and wonder.  That feeling of caressing its teeny tiny little hands and feeling its fingers grasp with all its little might onto one of yours.  That feeling that you will be responsible for caring for it.  Loving it.  Guiding it. Protecting it.  Forever really.  

I remember those first moments well.  Awe. Amazement. Warmth. Completeness.  I couldn’t get enough of her.  She couldn’t get enough of me.  For the most part, as long as I was near, she seemed happy and content.  But as I hit the three month mark with her, anxiety started to set in as I realized that it couldn’t always be Just Me.  

I was heading back to work.  Something I had pushed far in the back of my mind as I dealt with nights without sleep, days of diaper changes, constant feeding and newborn cuddles.  But the day was approaching where I’d have to walk out the door and leave my baby behind.  With someone else.  A someone who wasn’t me.  I had wrestled with the decision of day care vs nanny.  Talked to dozens of new moms who had gone through this same decision making process.  But in the end, the decision was up to me.  Clueless, overwhelmed Me.

After weeks of agonizing, and too much back and forth, I finally decided on day care.   But there was a four month window before there was a spot for her and I needed to get back to work.  Which left me with four months with a nanny.  

I was obsessed with the process.  Finding the right agency.  Asking the right questions.  Getting the best references.  Watching nannies play with my daughter as I hovered in the background.  And finally I tentatively made a decision.  And that night I cried.  Cried because I was terrified.  Terrified that this nanny was not who she said she was.  That the references were good friends she had asked to say fabulous things about her.  That the agency wasn’t the most reputable.  That Something would happen when I wasn’t there and I would only have myself to blame.  That I hadn’t taken the right steps.

The weekend before I left the house for work I told my husband the only way I’d be ok with this was if I got a nanny cam.  So I could see with my own eyes.  Hear with my own ears what was going on in my house while I was out.  He agreed.  Without any research or even thinking long enough to change our minds, we bought a camera disguised as a digital clock and placed it in full view in our family room.  I felt nauseous not telling the nanny.  Feeling like I was invading her privacy.  I was no private investigator, but I felt comfortable knowing that first night I’d come home and see.  See either a smiling, interactive loving nanny playing with my four month old baby.  Or not.  I didn’t even want to imagine what that “not” could be.  

I watched the video that night grasping tightly to my husband’s arm.  Watched it through worried tear filled, blurry eyes while my little girl slept soundly in the next room.  And sighed with relief when I saw only what I hoped to see.  A child loved.  Maybe not the same love I gave her.  But loved and cared for all the same.

I know I’m not alone.  Moms EVERY DAY go through this worry.  This fear that their child is left in the hands of questionable care givers.  This fear that they didn’t ask the right questions, do diligent enough background checks or look for the right things as they made their care giver decisions.  But moms need to know there are resources to help.  People and businesses that serve as investigators to not only help with the questions to ask but who will actually ask the questions for them.  To dig deeper than any mom would feel comfortable digging to ensure a safe, trusted, honest, reputable person is caring for their baby.  So that the mom can actually go back to work to WORK, not dwell on what is going on at home. 

Rebecca Shaw is a Marketing Consultant for MSA Investigations and the founder of Hummingbird Marketing located in Stamford, Ct.